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The Onion - Via ClickHole | UTICA, NY—Shooting anxious glances at each | “I can’t have my family name associated with | According to Nielsen holiday..

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Family Worried Where Grandma Going With Conversation On Low-Income Housing

UTICA, NY—Shooting anxious glances at each other across the dinner table upon the introduction of the unexpected topic, relatives of Mary Turner, 76, expressed concern to reporters Tuesday over where their grandmother is going with her discussion of low-income housing. “As soon as she starte...

Americans Buy $81 Million In Pies On Thanksgiving

According to Nielsen holiday sales data, Americans spent $81,483,780 on pie during Thanksgiving week in 2015—far exceeding pies purchases in other weeks that year—a trend they link to Americans eating multiple Thanksgiving meals in that span. What do you think?