CHANUTE, KS—Taking one last long look at herself in the bathroom mirror, local woman Enid Mulvey bid farewell to her former self Monday before beginning a brand-new skin care regimen.
"When I wake up tomorrow, everything will be different—a whole new woman will be born."
Area rattlesnake has same thought prior to shedding its exoskeleton.
Natalie Carpiaux omg that girl on the cover photo looks just like u!!! I thought it was you for a second!
Now you can own Caterpillar® by Genetic Enhancements. Just rub it on your skin nefore you go to bed. You'll grow a coccoon overnight, and in the morning emerge as a beautiful butterfly.
"He was kind of hanging back at first, so he needed a little nudging, but now it seems like Dad’s really hitting it off with the other guys on the block."
"Finally, I can just kick back, close my eyes, and do some serious listening."
"Fortune’s fool, I wagered I would be spared and forsook my ad blocker, and now a pitiless gloom that will abide for 30 seconds has descended."
The Onion - America's Finest News Source
"Wow, from way up here in the cheap seats it looks just like another high caliber bullet hole in Chicago... Batter up?"